“These people really did not belong to our fellowship, and that is why they left us; if they had belonged to our fellowship, they would have stayed with us. But they left so that it might be clear that none of them really belonged to us.”
1 John 2:19
This unedited blog was originally posted on 10/11/18.
It’s crazy to watch people church hop. It’s sad to hear the endless excuses for absenteeism. When asked, people typically respond, “We just didn’t like the...”
Fill in the ending with some superficial consumer-minded excuse or unrealistic expectation and you’ll have painted an accurate pic of ”christianity” Today.
•Music
•People
•Programs
•”So and so offended me”
The list goes on and on - not regarding essential doctrine, ministry, accountability, or even Core Values - rather regarding personal preferences as our ace in the hole exit strategy.
When a church doesn’t meet our (un)spoken expectations... when our delicate sensibilities are even so slightly nudged or jostled... it’s time to pack up and find a new church “family.”
Family? Ha!
Even though divorce attorneys and contemporary culture tell us we have every right to sever relationships, wreck lives, and damage kids emotionally... all in the glorious pursuit and worship of our REAL god, i.e. personal happiness… we see the devastating impact of this lie in the decay of our churches, communities, culture, and nation. If it’s not okay to rip, rent, shatter, and scatter our biological families - it’s certainly not okay with God’s.
If departing from Christian fellowship is for any reason other than God’s call (which does NOT equate to personal music preferences, perceived slights, church politics, or inconvenient service times) then we should ask ourselves, “Are we truly part of the family of God?” But we don’t really like the “tough questions” Jesus asks. Like Cal Naughton Jr., from Talladega Nights, the consumer-minded Christian goes on to exclaim, “I like my Jesus to...” and we fill in the rest with our personal preferences.
Jesus made it really simple. Disciples produce fruit 30, 60, even 100x that which is sown. There’s no “other” category. There’s no “other” category for radio-sermon e-community Christians completed disconnected from fellowship and Gospel community. There’s no “other” category period.
In 1 John 2:19 we get a divine wake up call, “These people really did not belong to our fellowship, and that is why they left us; if they had belonged to our fellowship, they would have stayed with us. But they left so that it might be clear that none of them really belonged to us.”
Fellowship. Belonging. Permanence. Commitment. Fruit Production. Devotion. That’s what defines the family of God.
Did you leave because of God’s call to committed service elsewhere?
Some protest, “I never left,” yet their hearts are nowhere to be found in the life and ministry of the Church. No love. No service. No ministry. No fruit. No harvest. The Prodigal Son’s brother never left either. He stayed and allowed jealousy, bitterness, and malice to fester and overcome him… just like Cain.
Excuses abound. Jesus made it simple in the parable of the soils. Two categories: 1) Fruit producing Sheep and 2) The Goats of Hell.
There are nuances to the Goats... the obvious blatant opponents... the sycophants, golf clappers, and personal preference crowd... and the apparent “insiders,” who, like Judas, when push comes to shove… they toss Jesus under a bus for a sandwich or some pocket change when dissatisfied or disappointed.
Regarding the fruitless sycophants and Judas-types… John points out why: “These people... they left so that it might be clear that none of them really belonged to us.”
That’s the sobering truth and reality… they never really belonged.
Blessings & love,
Kevin M. Kelley
Kevin, can you share why people are leaving your church now? None of these reasons apply in the circumstances of those to whom I've spoken. They are leaving because you are lying and slandering, unable or unwilling to relationally reconcile, and are indifferent toward the beaten down and broken hearts of your (now former) flock.